Rush Limbaugh has a Teeny Tiny Penis

For reals. EENSY – like one of those wee little baby carrots. Well,  kind of like that, but smaller and flappier.  And covered in Power Rangers stickers.

I jest. What do I know – or care – about the literal and ironic dicklessness one of America’s biggest dicks?

Yes, he is a greasy, bloated assweasel. But his “derisive intellectual weariness” schtick is really just a serious of pathetic bleats for attention, covered in a bunch of smart-sounding quips that he steals from other, far smarter people.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the poor guy is pretty much sans dick.

I mean, sure, there is all the drug use.  And all the jabs at women and the craven envy of men with far more power/intellect/happiness than he could even dream of having. So of course when you consider his actions, and his soft, curvy, womanly figure, it’s only natural to assume he has HPS (hidden penis syndrome) and smells like a 2-week-dead rat stuffed full of feta cheese and cabbage.

So cut the poor little not-quite-a-man some slack when he makes dumbass comments about women and/or “feminism.”  He is just a bitter, Jaba-esque sack of witless impotence and mediocrity.

Who, yes, very likely has a sad little tater tot in his pants.