Adventures in Local Bigotry: Burning Shame Award of the Week

At first I was going to blog this as the Fail of the Week. But then I realized it is only MONDAY. And I also realized that it just isn’t fair to the rest of the world to let East Tennessee carry all the Fail. So, in honor of East Tennessee’s commitment to keepin’ it klassy, I would like to introduce you to my new award category:

THE SFL BURNING SHAME AWARD.

Which is based on this charming photo:

The Lady's Not For Burning

And of course, our first winner comes fresh from the comments section of the online Kingsport Times-News.

Today’s topic – Muslims. Or muslin. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between a human and a bolt of cloth. Tough times – thank goodness we have the Kingsport Times-News – solid bastion of impartial journalism – to let us know:

Tennessee activists warn churchgoers Muslims are trying to destroy America

A belief that Muslims are out to destroy the American way of life is gaining a foothold in some Christian and Jewish circles in Nashville. The movement spreads its message through films, books and the Internet. Its sentiment: Islam is an evil religion rooted in hatred and nurtured by violence. Some churches have gotten involved, hosting viewings of movies that alert Jews and Christians of the perceived dangers worldwide. One film, produced by a local filmmaker, warns that a second Holocaust is imminent if Americans do not stand united politically with Israel.

Now, Kingsport just ran the above text with a link to the real article Is Islam a Threat to America? The full article ran in the Tennessean and, despite the HORRIBLE title, the Tennessean showed pretty clearly that the people and groups behind this bullshit are a bunch of freaking crazy political whackjobs who don’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

But leave it to the ever shitty Kingsport paper to give a short blurb that totally misses the mark and makes this lunacy seem both legit AND homespun-awesome. And basically suggests that its readership get on board. Which, let’s be honest, most of the readers of said shitty paper don’t need any further encouragement, but still… Call me old-fashioned, but I think it is nice when a newspaper tilts more towards “informative” than “persuasive.”

But at least one commenter did not need any persuadin’ on the matter. Let me introduce you to TF, the first-ever recipient of the newly minted SFL Burning Shame Award:

Yes I have spent 3 month with the Muslins and have had 7-8 in my home and had contact over the last 12 years on a weekly email, one told me ” if Michelangelo was around in my life time I would kill him for making a naked statue of my David ” and he was as serious as could be. That is the main reason they hate the US people is because of our life style and same in Europe. They birth about 5 times as many babies as all other religions and that is how they are going to take over in time to come. You need to wake up and get to know your maker!

STAY KLASSY TENNESSEE!

Advertisements

The Moranchurian Candidate

Holy HELL people.

Meet George Hutchins:

Moran For Congress

George likes Beef-a-Roni, racism, and brightly-colored websites with a used-car-lot/flea market vibe.

George want the good people of North Carolina’s 4th District to make him, George Hutchins, their Congressman. I bet you would like to know more about this 70s porn-‘stach rockin’ straight shooter. Well, for starters, George likes Stonehenge:

Where the DEMONS Dwell...

And what voter doesn’t want a candidate that is Stonehenge-positive? But don’t think for a second that just because George’s campaign is pro-Stonehenge that it is pro-anything-non-Christian. Because George LOVES Jesus. And, more importantly Jesus AND Moses are supporting George in his run for Congress:

Holy Shit

Other important things? Well, George has been known to enjoy a hot, Roman bath:

Seriously Dude...

But this does NOT – I repeat DOES NOT mean that George is gay.  Oh no no – George HATES gays.

More holy shit

George REALLY REALLY REALLY hates gays. Apparently, the GAYS are to blame for every bad thing that ever happened to anyone anywhere in the history of ever. Surprised? So was I, until I read George’s very illuminating and scholarly treatise, which I think might be titled “Holy !!!SHIT! the !!!GAYS!!! Are Coming!!!” I have excerpted it below for your edification:

“All major civilizations, since the beginning of recorded time, have fallen into DECLINE, and DECAY, once the majority citizens of each society, had ACCEPTED GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, to be normal standards of conduct, in open public places.”

“It is uncertain, whether GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL ACCEPTANCE was the cause of the DECLINE, or if GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL ACCEPTANCE was a symptom of the DECLINE.”

“The British Empire FELL by 1946, following the Second World War, were at this time, GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, by most British citizens.”

=>”Before 1946, the British Empire Ruled the World, dictating MOST global economic markets, and had the World’s Strongest Military, until following the end of World War Two. {1939-1945}”

“The German Weimar Republic, {1919-1933}, a Democratic Government, which existed in Germany, following World War One, [1914-1918], was very tolerant, and ACCEPTED GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT, in Germany, as normal public behavior.”

=>”Germany, during the time of Weimar Republic, {1919-1933}, became so CHAOTIC, Adolf Hitler was able to march in, SUSPENDING many German Legal Civil Liberties, just in one possible route, to restore safe public order, in Germany, by putting down the Weimar Republic, resulting in countless public freedom abuses in Germany, after the FALL of the Weimar Republic, under Adolf Hitler.”

“The Greek Empire FELL to the Romans, once public GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became ACCEPTED, as normal public behavior, by most Greeks.”

“By 400 A.D., 400 years after the birth of Christ, GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became, ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, among most Roman Citizens.”

=>”By 400 A.D., The Roman Empire was FALLING apart, and Ebbing in all Roman areas.”

“California, during the 1950’s, 1960’s, and early 1970’s, was the BEST place on EARTH to be.”

“By the YEAR 2000, SAN FRANCISCO  GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became, ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, among Most California Residents.”

=>”Since the YEAR 2000, California has been going down the drain, and California is NOW NOT such a GREAT place to be.”

But you know what? The WONDER!!! of George Hutchins doesn’t stop with hating the gays. George is also quite proud to be a racist. In fact, George is opposed to integration and thinks we should all have the liberty to hate and discriminate freely. Why don’t we let him explain why the Civil Rights Act is the root of much current evil:

To stop the OBAMA-NATION Socialists in Washington DC, we must first go to the root of the POISON TREE, which created all them.

This POISON TREE, is the “Social Engineering” located within the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act, to the U.S. Constitution.

The ONLY REASON, the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act passed, was due the fact, Lyndon B. JOHNSON, had many political debts owed to him, in 1964.

=> During 1964, if one did NOT repay their political debts, when they were called due, such a politician’s political career was over.

=> Lyndon B. JOHNSON called all his debts in 1964.

To DEFEAT OBAMA-NATION, we must take a close look at all of the “Social Engineering” contained in the so called 1964 Civil Rights Act, and take legal steps to remove this “Social Engineering” contained in the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.

“Social Engineering,” includes FORCED DIVERSITY, FORCED RACIAL INTEGRATION, Affirmative Action Quotas Based on Race, and all Privileges Based on Race, which are influenced by the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act to the U.S. Constitution.

We must use all of our resources NOW, to prevent ALL future U.S. Generations from suffering under the same bondage which were forced upon all of us, due to the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.

But don’t fret, minorities. George still welcomes your support, so long as you understand your place. Gays, of course, are not welcome at all.

George Hutchins is Afraid of THE GAY

The War on the War on the Imaginary War on Christmas

Because there is very little that I feel cannot be enjoyed with a healthy dose of sarcasm:

Stand For More Ridiculous Histrionics From the Dominant Culture

Oh boy. Here we go again. The War On the Imaginary War On Christmas has escalated the interweb hand-wringing. Check out standforchristmas.com, a site that has been brought to you by the outstanding folks at Focus on the Family. As the site informs:

Millions upon millions in our nation deeply value the great truths of Christmas and the holiday’s inspiring place in American life and culture. We hope you will take a moment to “Stand for Christmas” by sharing feedback about your Christmas shopping experiences.

We’re asking YOU to decide which retailers are “Christmas-friendly.” They want your patronage and your gift-shopping dollars, but do they openly recognize Christmas?

Participants are asked to indicate whether a particular retailer is “Christmas-Friendly,” “Christmas-negligent,” or “Christmas-offensive.”  Readers should know that “Christmas-friendly” does not mean merely that a store does business with one who celebrates Christmas; nor does “Christmas-offensive” mean that a store has taken an action that is hostile toward one who celebrates Christmas.

No no no! For example, check out the following review of Banana Republic:

Comment Date: Nov 28 2009 10:13 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: I clicked on their ad and used their search function. Typing in “Christmas gifts” I got “Holiday gifts.” Narrowing my search, I typed in “Christmas” and got “0 results for this search.” They will get the same number of purchases from me.

If one does not use the word “Christmas,” then one is offensive.  Likewise, simply acknowledging another religion’s holiday is offensive to those who observe Christmas. Most people have probably heard about the shitstorm over Best Buy. You can see the full story, as well as the HORRIBLY OFFENSIVE AND ANTI-CHRISTIAN ad here.

Wanna know what the bigots at Stand for Christmas think? Oh you know you do!

Comment Date: Dec 1 2009 6:27 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: We purchased $2000.00 of computer equipment in June & were planning to purchase a Net book & wii system for Christmas. However, I found the Thanksgiving ad celebrating the Muslim holiday offensive. I am disappointed in Best Buy and intend to make my CHRISTMAS purchases & all other puchases in the future elsewhere. I only wish I had known in June-I would have spent that money elsewhere also. I think Best Buy should reconsider their policy!!

Comment Date: Nov 30 2009 9:58 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: Who on earth do these people have in their marketing department? The number one rule of marketing is to promote your items to people who will buy them. I understand that Eid al-Adha was the day after Thanksgiving, but I don’t buy presents for that holiday any more than I would for Thanksgiving. Like the majority of Americans, I buy *Christmas* presents in honor of the gift God gave to us in the form of Jesus Christ. However, I will NOT be buying them from Best Buy this year. I will Christmas shop ONLY at stores that promote Christmas!!!

Comment Date: Nov 30 2009 7:33 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: Christmas Negligent AND Offensive, Best Buy. Shame on you. I have purchased much from you each CHRISTMAS Season,but not this year!This is too much for us to grasp–WHY do you feel it important to give good wishes to the Muslim community, and at the same time offend so many Christians and Americans. Maybe you need to reconsider having your business in America. May God help you reconsider your stance.

And just in case this isn’t sufficient righteous indignation, please check the full-strength unfiltered crazy here and here.

So, apparently, in order to be considered “Christmas-friendly,” a retailer must overtly and explicitly recognize Christmas in advertising, personnel interaction, and store decorations and said recognition better be happening by Thanksgiving. In addition, a retailer CANNOT recognize any other religious holidays and must understand that the only event of any importance occurring after Thanksgiving is Christmas.  Furthermore, if a retailer fails to acknowledge Christmas as separate from and superior to all other religious events, then that retailer is patently offensive to christianity.

Good grief, people. What the fuck more do you want? Oh yeah – total control, I forgot. Can’t you just settle for being the dominant culture and leave the rest of us in peace? Oops – forgot that “peace” is offensive, too.

One of My Reasons for the Season

Glenn Beck Has a Gift For You

Are you ready, America? Because I am about to offer you an emotional glimpse into the beautiful vortex of Glenn Beck’s REDEMPTION. Grab a chair, a hot cup of tea (because, as we all know, stories of redemption go down better with tea), and a econo-box of tissues and BEHOLD!

I got a little scared at the beginning, because the sound, FX, and editing made me totally think: “Watch OUT Glenn Beck! ZOMBIES!” – but no, that wasn’t it. Then I thought “Oh NO Glenn Beck! Car accident!” – but, no, it wasn’t that either. Then I kept watching and realized that the only thing menacing Glenn Beck was Glenn Beck himself. And possibly some giggling children. And the First Amendment.

Unfortunately, despite my rigorous research, I still have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER what this is about. I have gleaned only the following:

  • That it is, in fact, about a Christmas sweater.
  • That it takes Glenn Beck approximately 2 minutes, 17 seconds to squeeze out a tear.
  • That Glenn Beck’s eyes are the color of a sweet and innocent summer sky, but that only the very strong can gaze into them.
  • That something happened at some point, or possibly many points, and he hasn’t been able to talk about something for thirty years, but can now. Or will, if you buy something. And even though some event happened decades ago and changed him forever and from that point forward he was forever changed, he was also still simultaneously unchanged until only recently, and has apparently engaged in mucho jackassery for which he is now seeking or perhaps once sought forgiveness (which is free) and redemption (which costs around $549.00).

And the most important lesson?

  • That you cannot buy forgiveness, but you can buy bullshit.

Conservative Gift Basket Ideas

Need to give a gift to a dear conservative friend/relative/newspaper delivery kid, but have NO idea what they are into? Never fear – SFL has got you covered. I suggest you go with the “gift basket” approach – because who DOESN’T love opening up one gift, only to find that it is actually many gifts. Well, maybe this guy. But most people – yes, even conservative – are delighted to receive a vessel full of gifts that have been thoughtfully hand-picked to thrill, amuse, and inebriate the recipient.

First, you will need something to delight the eye. In light of the holiday season, I suggest something red:

Note I said something “red,” not something “read.” I know that this is made even more confusing by the fact that, technically speaking, this is a “book.” (note the review by the very excellent J.C. Patriot). But from what I read, it would appear that this isn’t so much a book, as it is an idea of what a book should be as dreamed up by people who generally do not like books, facts, logic, editing, or character development. Much like Ms. Palin isn’t so much a leader as she is an idea of what a leader should be as dreamed up by people who generally do not like books, facts, logic, editing, or character development.

Okay, good.

So now that we have dazzled the eye, how ’bout a little something for the brain?

At last! Something for those who miss the good ol’ days of Bush I and Nixon AND appreciate the good ol’ challenge of a puzzle, unlike some nasty liberals who have to make fun of everything. This challenging mind-game is based on a lovingly-rendered painting of our treasured Republican presidents in the style of that calendar guy and the guy who totally captured the good ol’days that we never actually experienced and now never will thanks to socialism.

Now we need a little treat. How about something that reminds us of the reason for the season?

Yeah – I know. These are totally awesome. But unfortunately, they are not yet available for commercial purchase. I suppose you could go with the OFFICIAL Jesus cookie, but I think it would be nicer and more thoughtful if you rolled up your sleeves and made your own cookies.*

And, of course, no holiday gift basket is complete without booze:

just awesome.

And last, something to make them laugh.

Might I suggest that you avoid the audio version, as I understand that just the sound of Gore’s voice is enough to fill people with rage and crazy.

*NOTE:  While most of the gift ideas in this blog are sprinkled with snark, the cookie suggestion is straightforward. Baking, in any literal form, rules, and there is nothing nicer than taking the time to actually MAKE something for someone else.  Also, I must point out that I really really like that cookie cutter set.

Signs of the Apocalypse

Oh yes. What a hoot it would be if this happened:

Christmas Gift Ideas, Part 3

The only downside to the Christmas Sweater is that it ends. And what do you do when you are all tingly with the righteousness and redemption, but there is no more Beck?  O intrepid readers, fear not, for I have found the perfect companion gift.

BEHOLD…

Columbus Go Home!

For your viewing pleasure:

Tu Es Petrus

It probably won’t surprise anyone to hear that people are trying to pray Obama out of office. At least, it doesn’t surprise me. When it comes to anything pertaining to current use of religion, I am generally nonplussed, but never really surprised by anything I see.  I look at it this way – religion is a rock. You can stand on it and proselytize, sit on it to rest, brandish it as a threat, or throw it as a weapon. But it is, in all circumstances, still a rock. The only differences are how and by whom it is being used.

Christianity may be a majority religion in this country, but I am under no obligation whatsoever to be or even feign being christian. I am not religious and I never have been. I am not even a vague non-observant christian. I was raised in a religion-free household and, to my memory, at least one of my parents was an atheist, however impermanently.

Times change, however, and times can change people. Today, both of my parents are religious – to the point that occasionally makes me personally uncomfortable. I don’t mean in any way that they should change what they do or that I think they are wrong. In fact, I think religion and involvement with the Church has been a good move for them. They are much more involved in community and more social than I have ever seen them be. But it is strange to hear them talk about religion and church as if it has always been a central player in their lives. The first time I got an email from my Dad with the sign off ‘God Bless’ it really through me for a loop. But, like I said, even though I personally do not believe that organized religion is unequivocally good in general (or good at all for me as an individual), I think it fills a need for many people.

So, when I hear about people trying to pray Obama out of office, I am not shocked or outraged. I neither like nor agree with the message that (1) they are an organized group and (2) they have God on our side. I don’t like it when I feel like people are threatening me with religion, but I don’t exactly feel threatened, either. Seems to me like any god worth his or her salt would be pretty happy with Obama, but then again (1) I am happy with Obama and (2) everything I know about Jesus comes from Jesus Christ Superstar, so my view is clearly tilted.

Which brings me to another point: who owns Christianity? Who owns Jesus? Lately, there has been a lot of disagreement over what it means to be a “Christian” — to the point that some feel the need to rewrite the Bible to reflect their opinions. It appears that many conservatives do not like the idea of a ‘love and peace’ Jesus and would like to get back to the whole fire and brimstone style, apparently because the peace and love style is at odds with a conservative sociopolitical agenda. Which seems a little hypocritical to me. People have been using religion as a justification for eons; but now, when religion is used to counter their arguments, they insist that their religion has been co-opted and perverted by their opponents.  To the point that they have to rewrite the Bible?

Why bother? Why not just form your own opinion? Or do you have to have religion on your side? Are we still stuck on the concept of the righteous fight? Does the ‘moral majority’ need God/the Bible on their side in order to keep going?  Do you not know what is right and what is wrong unless you can find a passage in the Bible that can be interpreted (or manipulated) to support your feelings and opinions? Some may think I am doomed to hell, but I cannot imagine being so bound to something that I can make no move, physically, emotionally, or intellectually, until I have received its imprimatur.

The idea of using God/religion/church/faith/prayer as a weapon or tool is as old as religion, it is true, but using religion as the primary focus of a political agenda is, at least for the U.S., fairly new. And clearly is causing a very unnavigable rift in the Republican party. And now the same group that insists it is their right to define the Republican party is now also insisting that it is their right to define evangelical christianity. If I had a dog in either fight, I would be pretty damn riled up.

Tell "The Traitor"...

« Older entries Newer entries »