Rush Limbaugh has a Teeny Tiny Penis

For reals. EENSY – like one of those wee little baby carrots. Well,  kind of like that, but smaller and flappier.  And covered in Power Rangers stickers.

I jest. What do I know – or care – about the literal and ironic dicklessness one of America’s biggest dicks?

Yes, he is a greasy, bloated assweasel. But his “derisive intellectual weariness” schtick is really just a serious of pathetic bleats for attention, covered in a bunch of smart-sounding quips that he steals from other, far smarter people.  But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the poor guy is pretty much sans dick.

I mean, sure, there is all the drug use.  And all the jabs at women and the craven envy of men with far more power/intellect/happiness than he could even dream of having. So of course when you consider his actions, and his soft, curvy, womanly figure, it’s only natural to assume he has HPS (hidden penis syndrome) and smells like a 2-week-dead rat stuffed full of feta cheese and cabbage.

So cut the poor little not-quite-a-man some slack when he makes dumbass comments about women and/or “feminism.”  He is just a bitter, Jaba-esque sack of witless impotence and mediocrity.

Who, yes, very likely has a sad little tater tot in his pants.


  1. Chenoa said,

    February 3, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    He’s so serious. I have no familiarity with Rush LimpBaugh so I didn’t know this about him… he takes himself so seriously when he says such absurd things!?!

  2. southern female lawyer said,

    February 3, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    …And yes, people, I am fully aware that writing a snark-laden post about the size of a man’s penis is intellectually on par with, say, making nasty remark’s about a feminist’s ass. But that is pretty much the point. Rush Limbaugh is clearly someone who does not value intellectual honesty, integrity, compassion, or basic human decency. So, as he seems to value only things about which I truly could not give less of a shit – i.e., his own threatened masculinity – it seemed the only way to highlight how incredibly sad his “commentary” is.

  3. Dr. Monkey said,

    February 3, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    I love it when you say ‘ass weasel.’

  4. Amy said,

    February 3, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    I’ve had a long day, and this just made up for it. You are f-ing hilarious. Tater tot. I’ll never look at the kids’ lunch menu the same again. Thank you, SFL (really).

  5. Celeste Peck said,

    February 4, 2010 at 1:02 am

    Thank God this was only 30 seconds. That’s all I can take of Limbaugh before I start sweating and wanting to throw things. Loved your post, SFL as usual! You have amazing insight.

  6. Chenoa said,

    February 4, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Yes, thank you for ruining tater tots for me forever. Sometimes a girl just needs greasy nasty potato product, and now she has to think of Rush’s dick when she eats it. 😛

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