D. All of the Above

So, the other day my good buddy, the Cryin’ Ham himself, Mr. Glenn Beck had a little “interview” with the Palin. Now, I fully expected ANY to ALL of the following to happen:

1.  Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin giggle like schoolgirls while brushing each other’s hair and listening to Miley Cyrus sing about pretending to know who/what Jay Z is.

2.  Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin clear the desk and make out like the ship is sinking.

3.  Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin melt/explode/implode into some whirling black hole vortex of villainry, like when Bad Guy and Future Bad Guy touch in Timecop.

4.  Glenn Beck draws maniacally on the chalkboard while Sarah Palin outlines her plan to take over the White House Alaska the Republican Party Fox News his show.

I, however, certainly did NOT expect Glenn Beck to cry “BULLCRAP!!!” when Sarah Palin non/mis/faux-answered a basic civics question my 10 year old would have rocked. Hell, I am pretty our Fat Cat could have lazily pawed out a “J” or something.

And really? Two minutes of fumbling for an answer and all you can come up with is WASHINGTON? Argggg.. That is kind of like saying your favorite painter is “all of them,” then stumbling around until you can cough out something that sounds like ‘Monet.’ Which would be okay if you were my grandma and Monet was the only artist you had heard of. But when you are a Mayor Governor VP candidate 2012 Presidential Prospect Commentator on a News Network, I think we can agree that the bar is just a wee tad higher.

Which makes me wonder – this seems like such a gaffe – could it possibly be that Sarah Palin has a bit of performance anxiety? You know, where she actually *knows* the answers to the questions, but gets nervous and then thinks ‘what if I forget?’ and then she ACTUALLY forgets? Because I TOTALLY do that all the time. You know, like how you *know* someone’s name, but then you have to introduce them to someone else, and you think ‘ah wouldn’t it SUCK if I forgot his name?’ which jinxes you because then you DO forget his name and have to just pretend you are a rude jerk who doesn’t pay attention to social niceties like introducing people?

I think *someone* needs to put “Handlers” on her Amazon Wish List.

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16 Comments

  1. southern female lawyer said,

    January 15, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    I should point out that I actually have to make note cards that say the Judge’s name, my clients’ names, the other side’s names and the other attorney’s name and place them in front of me when I go to court. I just tell people I am a ‘big picture’ person and am so busy focusing my brainmeats on the thorny legal questions that the irrelevant details escape. Which is actually completely true, but, you know, you don’t want a judge/client to think their name is an irrelevant detail.

  2. Laci the Dog said,

    January 15, 2010 at 4:30 pm

    That would be too much information for me. Usually the Judge is pretty unforgettable and “Your honour” usually works if you do forget names. “My Lord” or “My Lady” at trial level is only used in the “Old Bailey”, or Central Criminal Court in London. I hardly practise at that level and am usually in the circuits. My pupilage was in the Western Circuit and my chambers were in Exeter.
    http://www.westerncircuit.org.uk/

  3. Bryan said,

    January 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    I think you are giving her too much credit. Actually knows the answers? I doubt it.

  4. Leigh said,

    January 15, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    I am going to be charitable and allow that Palin is forgetful. Why? Because she has a wee one and I swear, my last little one stole all of my brains before he graced us with his larger than life presence. Seriously, having a baby in your mid-to-late thirties does a number on some of us. That said, she is just like my Indiana relatives. They stopped “thinking” when they dropped out of school and can’t seem to get the ol’ rusty noggin’ firing again. Stupid is a choice!

  5. southern female lawyer said,

    January 15, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    Thanks for the post, Laci, I appreciate it. I *really* need to catch up on 2nd Am jurisprudence. As I have mentioned elsewhere, it really isn’t at the top of my legal obsessions. I obsess mostly about 1st Am stuff and DP and EP stuff as it applies to minority rights. Back in the day, my two big things were privileges and the religion clauses. Also, I was kinda the go-to girl for double jeopardy when I was a clerk. Haven’t thought about THAT in forever…

    And Leigh and Bryan, I suspect you are both right. It just defies logic, though, that she seems that flustered by such a basic civics question. How do you (1) not know basic concepts (2) and not seem to care enough about your lack of knowledge to correct that? What did she *think* she was going to talk about on a political/news network? Pantsuits?

  6. Peter said,

    January 15, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    I saw (and damned if I can remember where) an item about President Beck balancing the budget on a chalkboard with tears streaming down his face.

    They always leave out the lederhosen and the brandy snifter full of M&Ms.

    What I thought was more problematic about that clip was that she kept talking before she ‘heard’ the Bullcrap.

  7. southern female lawyer said,

    January 16, 2010 at 11:27 am

    That is hilarious, Peter – if you find a clip/link, send it to me. How did your kitchen fun and cookies turn out?

  8. Jonathan said,

    January 16, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    I have watched that clip over and over, and you can almost see her crumble as soon as Beck spits the question out. She starts staring at the floor, then thinks she might have it together enough, while trying to talk through Beck’s “Bullcrap, who is it?” repeats. She never gets it together, its just random sound bytes, “diversity…power to the people…not a king” and at the very end she starts using her hands wildly to hopefully shut the conversation down.

    Fantastic entertainment. I will certainly be guilty of giving her ratings on her new show.

  9. southern female lawyer said,

    January 16, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    She does indeed crumble. You can almost hear her thinking ‘oh DAMN. another gotcha question. I had no idea Glenn Beck was so jealous of me.’

    I think she actually says “Diver’s City.” I thought for a minute she was going to go with the diver scallop as her fave founder – WHICH WOULD HAVE BEEN BRILLIANT.

  10. The Queen said,

    January 16, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    Diversity? The Founding Fathers were a bunch of wealthy white guys from the northeast. Their biggest claim to diversity was wearing different colored breeches. Not that they didn’t do a pretty good job, but diversity is the LAST quality that comes to mind when you throw out the term “Founding Fathers.”

  11. Peter said,

    January 16, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    Found it. It’s S E Cupp writing over at Tucker Carlson’s new place:

    “Decide that idea of President Beck balancing the budget on a blackboard, in a Thomas Paine costume, crying, is kind of awesome.”

    You might find it hard to believe, but Beck is just as much a source of amusement to the right as he is to the left. The right doesn’t think he’s any sort of danger to the Republic. Personally I watch him daily, just for the entertainment value.

    And my kitchen science went OK, but not great, so I destroyed all the evidence . I need to soak the raisins for a few minutes first so the cookies aren’t so dry. Spent a bunch of time in Italy and was less than impressed with Nutella. I wonder if the Romans are still talking about the crazy American searching for peanut butter, heh.

    Gonna try again tonight.

  12. southern female lawyer said,

    January 16, 2010 at 11:30 pm

    Peter – I wondered about that – the Beck thing, that is. I know some right-leaners that think he is a tool, but they are really more old-school (i.e. “real”) Libertarians. Funny.

    How much flour did you put in your cookies? That could be what is making them dry. Check your ratios. For regular cookies you should have about a cup of flour plus one tablespoon per egg; for oatmeal it is more like 1 1/2 cup of oatmeal, and 1/2 cup of flour per egg.

    For me, nutella is just an excuse to put chocolate on EVERYTHING. You can add peanut butter, too, for moisture. Or, if it is your thing, soak the raisins in rum. Mmmmm…

  13. Peter said,

    January 17, 2010 at 1:03 am

    I can’t find my mother’s recipe, so I d/l one and winged it. Yeah, prolly too much flour. I must observe that eating an entire batch of not quite perfect oatmeal cookies is still pretty great. 🙂

    I too loevs me some chocolate, but not in oatmeal cookies. That’s why God invented Toll House cookies, ya know?

    Beck is outraged (which is fine), but not yet angry, which is a distinction that most Liberals miss. Many of us on the other side of the aisle were and are p!ssed at the Patriot Act and the profligate spending from the Bush years, and got ignored just like y’all did.
    I really want Obama to do well: that it took better than two centuries to elect a black man President is a telling indictment of us all. I just don’t understand why he’s doing more of the same irresponsible spending that the Bushies did. Jeez, I was already pissed off!

  14. Peter said,

    January 17, 2010 at 1:09 am

    Oh, yeah: I found a copy of the 1918 Fanny Farmer cookbook on Pirate Bay. The internet really *is* forever!

  15. January 17, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    I have to admit, I totally forgot my client’s name in court a few weeks ago. And then I forgot opposing counsel’s name, and his client’s name. And then I kinda just stammered around trying to figure out what the hell I was even saying. It was all kinds of word salad all over the place, and I sat there thinking, oh God, I’m Sarah Palin, aren’t I?

    But then, I’ve been a lawyer for three months. She’s been a politician for longer than I’ve been an adult. You think she’d have it down by now, and if she can’t hack a simple “flavor” civics question, she needs to STFU and go away.

  16. Scott said,

    May 12, 2010 at 11:59 am

    Palin and Beck are both idiots. For more on this, see The Glen Beck Review: sharethisurlaboutglenbek.wordpress.com/


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