Green Jellybeans: God’s Jealousy Or Just Bad Baking?

Ummm…so I was rambling about the webs looking for gift ideas, when I stumbled upon the “official” Jesus Cookie. According to the website, this is a “…family owned business, dedicated to furthering the kingdom of Jesus Christ.”  Check out the site’s testimonial:

One day, my children and I had taken some freshly baked Jesus cookies to a bank.  People were coming from all corners of the bank to see what the delicious smell was.  We shared the cookies and a particular bank employee, dressed in a suit and well over 6 feet tall stood enjoying his cookie.  My younger son looked up at the man and said, “Oh, you just ate a green jellybean, green represents God’s jealousy because He wants us to have no other gods before Him”.  The man looked at the cookie and smiled at my son and thought for a moment and then walked away.  We never know how such a seemingly small act could potentially be life changing for someone we may meet only once.

Call me a food snob, but jelly beans in cookies is TOTALLY disgusting. Couldn’t they have used a pistachio or even a raisin to represent God’s jealousy? Why a jellybean?

So, in the interests of integrity in baking, I have decided to make some OFFICIAL secular humanist cookies. The chocolate chips represents our compassion for others because chocolate is nice and so is compassion.

Yay! Cookies!

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3 Comments

  1. The Queen said,

    November 29, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Green M&Ms would have been color appropriate, and not completely disgusting in a cookie. I was hoping that Jesus Cookie site was a joke. That bank employee probably walked away thinking, “Jesus, those people have completely brainwashed their unfortunate children so that they can never just enjoy a bag of Jelly Bellies again without seeing how they symbolize God’s emotions. What a troop of fruitcakes. Maybe I should call child protective services.”

    Or maybe he was saved, who knows.

  2. December 1, 2009 at 8:48 am

    A jealous ex-wife is bad enough–why imagine a supreme being that turns green when you check out other gods?

    And for the record, I wasn’t staring as Athena’s boobs–she just looks like someone I knew in high school.

  3. December 2, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    […] … […]


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