Grand Ol’ Clustersnuggle

Well, I can’t say that I am surprised to read this:

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) will speak at the first-ever National Tea Party Convention this upcoming February.

The announcement of plans for the conservative lawmaker to attend the Tennessee event came from Tea Party organizer Sherry Phillips via Twitter Tuesday.

Bachmann, who has emerged as a champion of the Tea Party movement, will join ex-Alaska Governor Sarah Palin at the convention for the “purpose of networking and supporting the movements’ multiple organizations principle goals.” Palin will be the “special keynote speaker” at the event, which is taking place at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee.

“Press will be allowed in a designated section of the lobby of the convention only and will not be allowed inside the convention,” reports the Nashville Post. “There will be no media allowed for the banquet with Sarah Palin.”

You can read the full Huff Po article here. Or, if you prefer your crazy full-on, maximum strength and utterly undiluted by reason, you can check out the superawesome teabaggerific site here. I want everyone to take a moment and let this sink in: The teabagger national convention is taking place in NASHVILLE. As in, Tennessee.  As in, WHERE I LIVE. Oh sweet science – does this mean we have to flee the state? Or does this mean we have to attend the event? Wait…

…I actually kind of want to go. Who wouldn’t like to experience a “media-free” Palin banquet? But then I read that tickets are $549. SERIOUSLY? What the FUCK people? You want to bitch about “those” people getting a penny of your money, but you are flush enough to fork over five hundred and forty-nine fucking dollars to watch a circle jerk of a clown car train wreck greed-fueled beauty pageant clusterfuck of a vortex of evil suck all that is good and smart and kind out of life?

HOLY SHIT my head just exploded.

So, here is my proposal. If you, good people of the interwebs, would like me, your southern female lawyer friend, to go and witness this shitacular event, I will add a PayPal donation function to this blog – and if I get $549 in donations, I will GO TO THE TEABAGGERAMA. For real. And I will blog the hell out of it. Pictures and all. And, I will have a sign contest and you all can design a sign for me to tote around. Comment and let me know if you want this to happen.

Good Ol' Choaking



  1. Haize said,

    November 25, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    You can definitely count on a donation from me! I would normally be worried about someone putting themselves in with this unseemly crowd, but somehow…I think you can handle it:)

  2. COD said,

    November 25, 2009 at 10:54 pm

    I’ll match the donation I made to Rob’s campaign. This promises to be a lot of fun. Although you may want to hold off for a while…I suspect that price may come down.

  3. Dr. Monkey said,

    November 26, 2009 at 1:51 am

    Don’t do it. We can’t afford to lose you. Don’t go!

  4. Lost Sea said,

    November 26, 2009 at 9:24 am

    where’s that paypal button? I’ll chip in.

  5. The Queen said,

    November 26, 2009 at 9:34 am

    I’m torn… part of me wants to see you go to the convention, and part of me is scared that you’ll say something sane in front of those lunatics and you’ll be torn apart by a mob. I guess if you’re willing to assume that risk, then the least I can do is chip in $10.

  6. The Queen said,

    November 26, 2009 at 9:40 am

    And by the way, I am ALL FOR this Tea Party Convention — I want them to form their own political party, and stop calling themselves Republicans and moderate Democrats. Once they start fielding candidates it will become painfully clear that the Tea Party is crazy, noisy and best of all small, and can’t get anyone elected to an office more important than house of representatives.

  7. Rob said,

    November 27, 2009 at 2:54 am

    I agree with The Queen — I’d love to see these loonies unite and create a third party that will siphon off some of the true-blue crazies.

  8. November 27, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    #1, I agree with the Queen and Rob. I’m all for them taking over the GOP for that matter, because it will more or less seal the deal for us controlling the White House for a long time. Incidentally, just this week there was a resolution introduced in the GOP to force candidates to subscribe to at least 8 out of 10 principles. This means that the GOP is going even FURTHER to the right. Also, I saw today that they’re trying to draft Dick Cheney to run for President. Nothing could be better news. Cheney/Palin 2012, all the way baby.

    #2: I know why you want to go to this thing, but in all honesty, I’d prefer you didn’t. I just think that $550 could be put to much better use. Such as…..

    #3: When is someone going to form a competing movement to this insane bat shit crazy Tea Party stuff? Like the “Sanity Movement” or something. Seriously. Here’s an idea. The one thing that the Tea Party people have going for them is that they were able to latch on to a historical event and co-opt it for their perverse use, i.e. using the Boston Tea Party as a rallying cry for a movement. Well, how about a “Unite or Die” movement, similar to the theme used at the time that the Constitution was being ratified??? We are, after all, for “big government”, i.e. the federal government–which is what the Constitution and the original “Unite or Die” movement was all about. So instead of paying $550 to go protest, why not start something new???

  9. November 27, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    Hon, you DO know that she’s supposed to be in Nashville at the END of the month, too, with Pat Boone, no less, for the National Religious Broadcasters Convention?

    Since that gig was booked a while ago I wonder if she’ll bail.

  10. Septima said,

    November 29, 2009 at 6:46 pm

    My girlfriend Aleania questions why this little circle jerk cost $549, seems like an odd amount for that amount of teabagging talent. She wonders it falls a $1 short of some kind of mandatory tax declaration for political/charitable contribution.

  11. November 30, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    Oh Gawd… Bachmann and Palin in the same place? Can one venue actually hold that much stupid and not implode?

  12. December 1, 2009 at 9:22 am

    Can you say “BR-549?”

  13. cyntax said,

    December 1, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    I am totally down for donating. But since you’ll be operating deep in hostile territory you have to promise to be careful to not blow your cover no matter how gratuitous the stupid gets.

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