Wal-Mart Is Pure Evil, Part 784

So, it will probably come as no surprise to someone who has read this blog (being that most people who read this blog, all 7 of them, actually know me) that I loathe Wal-Mart. In my entire life, I have been in a Wal-Mart exactly once and have bought exactly one item from Wal-Mart. Strangely, this was on my wedding day. And yes, I am flaky enough to worry that this act was just asking for bad luck. And even though I love my husband to teensy little crunchy bits, I would not be at all adverse to hearing tips on getting rid of any bad spirits, luck, mojo, karma, whatevs incurred by this unwise action that SFL readers might have.

But aside from that one incident, I have been steadfast in my intolerance for all things Wal-Mart (with the noted exception of this delightful website, much of which is NSFW and/or may cause instant vomiting and bleeding from the eyes).  So, this incident sadly came as no surprise. Long awful story short, two attorneys were shopping at their local Wal-Mart with their adopted children, when one was stopped and accused of shoplifting. The couple was detained, separated from their children, put in cop cars, and ultimately were let go when a review of the security tapes CLEARLY showed that neither man had stolen a single Bic lighter. Yes. Wal-Mart had accused the men of stealing a pack of Bic lighters.

Nonetheless, Wal-Mart banned both men from its hallowed environs FOR LIFE. Setting aside the fact that this is really in the best interests of everyone because NO ONE should be shopping at Wal-Mart, this is still asinine beyond belief. Nor does it end there. AFTER the men were cleared AND banned, Wal-Mart inexplicably SENT THE MEN A BILL FOR $158.40, presumably to reimburse Wal-Mart for the pain and suffering it incurred while unfairly detaining and accusing the couple and harassing their children.

Lest you leave my blog filled with rage over the PURE EVIL OF WALMART, let me leave you with this delightful and completely true anecdote.

Unsurprisingly, I have managed to pass along my negative opinions on Wal-Mart to my spawn. It isn’t like I tell them Wal-Mart is Satan’s favorite place to shop or that they will go blind if they shop there, but I make it clear that Wal-Mart sucks, and we don’t shop there for legitimate reasons. Some of those reasons apparently stuck in the quick and brilliant little mind of Spawn #1. When he was five (YES, FIVE), his grandmother (yes, that one, who is also the person who relayed this incident to me and did NOT find it amusing) decided that she was going to take #1 with her to Wal-Mart. #1 was NOT happy with this, and made his unhappiness known, but ultimately (because he is very reluctant to offend anyone) went along with Grandma.

#1 walked into Wal-Mart with a great deal of discomfort, I am told. Once he got inside, he looked around until he found a Wal-Mart employee. He then went up to her and tugged on her sleeve. When she asked him how she could help him, #1 asked HER “Are they treating you okay here? Do you have health insurance?”

I do not make this shit up. He has also tried to unionize our local Panera workers.


World of K


  1. Dr. Monkey said,

    November 11, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    I too loathe Wal Mart. Good for you for instilling a sense of fair play in your kids and your dislike of Wal Mart.

  2. Rachel said,

    November 11, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    I LOVE spawn #1. I would have paid good money to be @ Walmart that day and hear the employee response. Not sure if you’ve seen “Capitalism: A Love Story” yet – but add the whole “dead peasant policy” thing to your “dislike” list. Don’t get me wrong – I like saving a buck as much as the next guy – but those falling prices don’t excuse unethical behavior.
    Hug #1. Tell him to fight the good fight. For Panera, and beyond. 🙂

  3. Rob said,

    November 11, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    I got it wrong when I posted the story recently — I said he was six. Five = even more impressive (and TOTALLY K[]).

  4. Haize said,

    November 11, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Hate Wal-Mart…I hate that I can’t convince my mom to stop shopping at the evil empire. I used to steal Dr. Pepper chapstick from Wal-Mart when I was a teenager and I don’t even feel as bad as I should about this just because it’s WAL-MART!
    K[] seems like one cool cat!

  5. democommie said,

    November 12, 2009 at 11:29 pm

    Perhaps I am your eighth reader. I know you only from here and Southern Beale’s blog. But I have three lawyers for brothers-in-law (only one of who actually does law, he’s an elder law guy) and they’re all nice people–which makes telling lawyer jokes more difficult.

    Wal-Mart sucks but since they ran most everybody else out of town I shop there for what I have to. I used to wear my IBEW “If provoked will strike” shirt with a likeness of a viper on it.

    Kudos to your kiddo, he sounds like he’ll make a good labor lawyer.

  6. April 22, 2012 at 6:59 am

    Walmart India is spreading its dark reign in this country by every means of manipulation they have at their disposal. They have hacked my blog when i only wrote 5 blogs against them. This has shown me that they will do any thing to hide their evil, and destroy our lives for their personal profit. The people are awakning to the evil mind that runs the show from behind, and these monsters will not last forever. They will face the wraith of justice, and it will be a swift end for them.

  7. September 5, 2013 at 12:48 pm

    […] Good Alternative to Fueling the Sam Walton EmpireHowever if you’re like me and don’t want to give Sam’s Club $50, you can apply for a Community Express loan online from Borrego Springs Bank. Call them at […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: