Burning Shame Award, Part II

Well, it was bound to happen. TF has been toppled from his/her throne of crazy. Check out the following back-to-back comments by the cleverly-named “Your Funny” in response to a local paper’s alarmist bullshit about Islam:

“or nuke-em all and let God sort-em out”

Your Funny | 12/8/2009 – 8:30 AM -

“time for us to deport all finatical muslims who believe we are all infidel’s and should be be-headed,close and tighten our boarders,and stop these oil-wars.Afghanistan: Hope we get out of their.!! since war and invasion is all they know.The British tried to settle Afghanistan,the Russians tried,neither could do it. don’t know if we can either..”

Your Funny | 12/8/2009 – 8:27 AM

The Lady's Not For Burning

STAY KLASSY!!!

Adventures in Local Bigotry: Burning Shame Award of the Week

At first I was going to blog this as the Fail of the Week. But then I realized it is only MONDAY. And I also realized that it just isn’t fair to the rest of the world to let East Tennessee carry all the Fail. So, in honor of East Tennessee’s commitment to keepin’ it klassy, I would like to introduce you to my new award category:

THE SFL BURNING SHAME AWARD.

Which is based on this charming photo:

The Lady's Not For Burning

And of course, our first winner comes fresh from the comments section of the online Kingsport Times-News.

Today’s topic – Muslims. Or muslin. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between a human and a bolt of cloth. Tough times – thank goodness we have the Kingsport Times-News - solid bastion of impartial journalism – to let us know:

Tennessee activists warn churchgoers Muslims are trying to destroy America

A belief that Muslims are out to destroy the American way of life is gaining a foothold in some Christian and Jewish circles in Nashville. The movement spreads its message through films, books and the Internet. Its sentiment: Islam is an evil religion rooted in hatred and nurtured by violence. Some churches have gotten involved, hosting viewings of movies that alert Jews and Christians of the perceived dangers worldwide. One film, produced by a local filmmaker, warns that a second Holocaust is imminent if Americans do not stand united politically with Israel.

Now, Kingsport just ran the above text with a link to the real article Is Islam a Threat to America? The full article ran in the Tennessean and, despite the HORRIBLE title, the Tennessean showed pretty clearly that the people and groups behind this bullshit are a bunch of freaking crazy political whackjobs who don’t know what the fuck they are talking about.

But leave it to the ever shitty Kingsport paper to give a short blurb that totally misses the mark and makes this lunacy seem both legit AND homespun-awesome. And basically suggests that its readership get on board. Which, let’s be honest, most of the readers of said shitty paper don’t need any further encouragement, but still… Call me old-fashioned, but I think it is nice when a newspaper tilts more towards “informative” than “persuasive.”

But at least one commenter did not need any persuadin’ on the matter. Let me introduce you to TF, the first-ever recipient of the newly minted SFL Burning Shame Award:

Yes I have spent 3 month with the Muslins and have had 7-8 in my home and had contact over the last 12 years on a weekly email, one told me ” if Michelangelo was around in my life time I would kill him for making a naked statue of my David ” and he was as serious as could be. That is the main reason they hate the US people is because of our life style and same in Europe. They birth about 5 times as many babies as all other religions and that is how they are going to take over in time to come. You need to wake up and get to know your maker!

STAY KLASSY TENNESSEE!

….And It Is Sufganiyot With The WIN!!!

YAY!!! I get to make something that is filled with awesomeness AND fried! Check it out:

SUFGANIYOT

In general news, my Clan did the decorating and tree thing today, and I had BOTH prosecco AND the nog, so I am quite tipsy. Hope you all had a GREAT weekend!!! ‘Til next time, gaze upon this deliciousness:

Spritz!

Demand-A-Dish – Special Holiday Pastry Edition

YAY! The holidays are HERE – and for me, that means time to make some fancy treats. So, I thought I would kick things off with a little Demand-A-Fancy-Regional-Treat action. Below are five different pastries and/or sweetbreads that I have not ever made before. (note that buche du noel is not on the list because (1) I have made it before and (2) plan to make it later this month).

If you have any experience with any of these, making or eating, please comment and share. . SO, vote early and often and TELL ME WHAT TO BAKE!

Random Awesomeness AND Fail of the Week: Local Edition

Hey readers! We got ourselves a twofer! First, a FANTASTIC letter to the editor of the Kingsport Times-News – below is the text of the full letter. This is my pick for Random Awesomeness of the Week:

Jesus isn’t the reason for the season

Published December 2nd, 2009 |

Christmas originated as a celebration of Christ’s birth. Really? Christians spend most of their time, money, and energy trying to honor Christ. Really? Children identify Jesus with Christmas, not Santa. Really? Adults fret over not giving Christ enough praise, not gift debt. Really? Decorated trees represent the life Christ offers. Really? Historical facts suggest Jesus was born in December. Really? People rarely experience post-Christmas blahs or depression because they spent their time focusing on the Savior! Really?

Over 1,500 years before Christ’s birth, people celebrated winter solstice festivals around Dec. 25. Their focus was on their respective sun gods (Mithra, Saturn, etc.). It was only during the fourth century that military and religious leaders began strategically slipping Jesus into the yearly winter shindigs. Jesus became a token add-on, an afterthought, a pawn used to achieve their goals of controlling the masses. This would be like us declaring from now on going clubbing will represent our fight against world hunger.

Discovering that Jesus is not the reason for the season confused me. Some of my greatest memories revolve around Christmas as a child. Perhaps not all is lost. Christ was big on love, family, and friends, but also on honesty. Maybe some of our Christmas traditions wouldn’t continue to insult Him if we’d stop publicly insisting it’s all about Him while privately doing everything but focusing on Him. As counterintuitive and as religiously incorrect as this may sound to Christ followers, if we participate in holiday traditions maybe we should leave Christ out of it, rather than pretending He is the catalyst. He deserves better.

Mark Johnson

Church Hill

Kudos to you, Mr. Johnson.

And, of course, an online letter to the editor such as this is bound to gather some uber-fails of comments. Without further ado, I present you the SFL Fail of the Week:

I’m not even touching this one. Amazing that people call us morons because they cannot except the simple premise of a Son was born of a virgin, HE died on a cross at the hands of man to save all humanity, and HE’S COMING AGAIN! BUT, you can believe in something so stupid as environmentalism, carbon footprints, the ice is melting, and the big bang theory, Darwinism, and other such myths. Betcha believe in big foot and the abominable snowman too. You people just amaze me. So you know what, you keep believe in all the falsehoods and leave me and my Christian Christmas alone. If you don’t want to celebrate it, then stay by yourself in your cold old dirty apartment and leave me alone! MERRY CHRISTmas!

This has it all: first, the pretend superiority of “I’m not even touching this one.” Then we move on to the reverse-insult. Then some ALLCAPS proselytizing!!! Then some more nastiness for the MORANS who believe in science. Then a little offensive defense – STAND FOR CHRISTMAS!!! – some weird insults, then, of course, the mandatory  reference to !!!!!CHRIST!!!!!!!. signed, ResQLady B

Get a grip, anonymous harpy.

More of MY PERSONAL reasons for the season:

Birds are nice

The Moranchurian Candidate

Holy HELL people.

Meet George Hutchins:

Moran For Congress

George likes Beef-a-Roni, racism, and brightly-colored websites with a used-car-lot/flea market vibe.

George want the good people of North Carolina’s 4th District to make him, George Hutchins, their Congressman. I bet you would like to know more about this 70s porn-’stach rockin’ straight shooter. Well, for starters, George likes Stonehenge:

Where the DEMONS Dwell...

And what voter doesn’t want a candidate that is Stonehenge-positive? But don’t think for a second that just because George’s campaign is pro-Stonehenge that it is pro-anything-non-Christian. Because George LOVES Jesus. And, more importantly Jesus AND Moses are supporting George in his run for Congress:

Holy Shit

Other important things? Well, George has been known to enjoy a hot, Roman bath:

Seriously Dude...

But this does NOT – I repeat DOES NOT mean that George is gay.  Oh no no – George HATES gays.

More holy shit

George REALLY REALLY REALLY hates gays. Apparently, the GAYS are to blame for every bad thing that ever happened to anyone anywhere in the history of ever. Surprised? So was I, until I read George’s very illuminating and scholarly treatise, which I think might be titled “Holy !!!SHIT! the !!!GAYS!!! Are Coming!!!” I have excerpted it below for your edification:

“All major civilizations, since the beginning of recorded time, have fallen into DECLINE, and DECAY, once the majority citizens of each society, had ACCEPTED GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, to be normal standards of conduct, in open public places.”

“It is uncertain, whether GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL ACCEPTANCE was the cause of the DECLINE, or if GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL ACCEPTANCE was a symptom of the DECLINE.”

“The British Empire FELL by 1946, following the Second World War, were at this time, GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, by most British citizens.”

=>”Before 1946, the British Empire Ruled the World, dictating MOST global economic markets, and had the World’s Strongest Military, until following the end of World War Two. {1939-1945}”

“The German Weimar Republic, {1919-1933}, a Democratic Government, which existed in Germany, following World War One, [1914-1918], was very tolerant, and ACCEPTED GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL CONDUCT, in Germany, as normal public behavior.”

=>”Germany, during the time of Weimar Republic, {1919-1933}, became so CHAOTIC, Adolf Hitler was able to march in, SUSPENDING many German Legal Civil Liberties, just in one possible route, to restore safe public order, in Germany, by putting down the Weimar Republic, resulting in countless public freedom abuses in Germany, after the FALL of the Weimar Republic, under Adolf Hitler.”

“The Greek Empire FELL to the Romans, once public GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became ACCEPTED, as normal public behavior, by most Greeks.”

“By 400 A.D., 400 years after the birth of Christ, GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became, ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, among most Roman Citizens.”

=>”By 400 A.D., The Roman Empire was FALLING apart, and Ebbing in all Roman areas.”

“California, during the 1950’s, 1960’s, and early 1970’s, was the BEST place on EARTH to be.”

“By the YEAR 2000, SAN FRANCISCO  GAY MALE HOMOSEXUAL BEHAVIOR, became, ACCEPTED as normal public behavior, among Most California Residents.”

=>”Since the YEAR 2000, California has been going down the drain, and California is NOW NOT such a GREAT place to be.”

But you know what? The WONDER!!! of George Hutchins doesn’t stop with hating the gays. George is also quite proud to be a racist. In fact, George is opposed to integration and thinks we should all have the liberty to hate and discriminate freely. Why don’t we let him explain why the Civil Rights Act is the root of much current evil:

To stop the OBAMA-NATION Socialists in Washington DC, we must first go to the root of the POISON TREE, which created all them.

This POISON TREE, is the “Social Engineering” located within the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act, to the U.S. Constitution.

The ONLY REASON, the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act passed, was due the fact, Lyndon B. JOHNSON, had many political debts owed to him, in 1964.

=> During 1964, if one did NOT repay their political debts, when they were called due, such a politician’s political career was over.

=> Lyndon B. JOHNSON called all his debts in 1964.

To DEFEAT OBAMA-NATION, we must take a close look at all of the “Social Engineering” contained in the so called 1964 Civil Rights Act, and take legal steps to remove this “Social Engineering” contained in the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.

“Social Engineering,” includes FORCED DIVERSITY, FORCED RACIAL INTEGRATION, Affirmative Action Quotas Based on Race, and all Privileges Based on Race, which are influenced by the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act to the U.S. Constitution.

We must use all of our resources NOW, to prevent ALL future U.S. Generations from suffering under the same bondage which were forced upon all of us, due to the so-called 1964 Civil Rights Act.

But don’t fret, minorities. George still welcomes your support, so long as you understand your place. Gays, of course, are not welcome at all.

George Hutchins is Afraid of THE GAY

Palate Cleanser

Behold! The healing power of meat:

Mmmmmmmmeat!

Or, for the non-carnivorous, some sweet potato gnocchi:

Sweet Potato Gnocchi

The War on the War on the Imaginary War on Christmas

Because there is very little that I feel cannot be enjoyed with a healthy dose of sarcasm:

Stand For More Ridiculous Histrionics From the Dominant Culture

Oh boy. Here we go again. The War On the Imaginary War On Christmas has escalated the interweb hand-wringing. Check out standforchristmas.com, a site that has been brought to you by the outstanding folks at Focus on the Family. As the site informs:

Millions upon millions in our nation deeply value the great truths of Christmas and the holiday’s inspiring place in American life and culture. We hope you will take a moment to “Stand for Christmas” by sharing feedback about your Christmas shopping experiences.

We’re asking YOU to decide which retailers are “Christmas-friendly.” They want your patronage and your gift-shopping dollars, but do they openly recognize Christmas?

Participants are asked to indicate whether a particular retailer is “Christmas-Friendly,” “Christmas-negligent,” or “Christmas-offensive.”  Readers should know that “Christmas-friendly” does not mean merely that a store does business with one who celebrates Christmas; nor does “Christmas-offensive” mean that a store has taken an action that is hostile toward one who celebrates Christmas.

No no no! For example, check out the following review of Banana Republic:

Comment Date: Nov 28 2009 10:13 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: I clicked on their ad and used their search function. Typing in “Christmas gifts” I got “Holiday gifts.” Narrowing my search, I typed in “Christmas” and got “0 results for this search.” They will get the same number of purchases from me.

If one does not use the word “Christmas,” then one is offensive.  Likewise, simply acknowledging another religion’s holiday is offensive to those who observe Christmas. Most people have probably heard about the shitstorm over Best Buy. You can see the full story, as well as the HORRIBLY OFFENSIVE AND ANTI-CHRISTIAN ad here.

Wanna know what the bigots at Stand for Christmas think? Oh you know you do!

Comment Date: Dec 1 2009 6:27 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: We purchased $2000.00 of computer equipment in June & were planning to purchase a Net book & wii system for Christmas. However, I found the Thanksgiving ad celebrating the Muslim holiday offensive. I am disappointed in Best Buy and intend to make my CHRISTMAS purchases & all other puchases in the future elsewhere. I only wish I had known in June-I would have spent that money elsewhere also. I think Best Buy should reconsider their policy!!

Comment Date: Nov 30 2009 9:58 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: Who on earth do these people have in their marketing department? The number one rule of marketing is to promote your items to people who will buy them. I understand that Eid al-Adha was the day after Thanksgiving, but I don’t buy presents for that holiday any more than I would for Thanksgiving. Like the majority of Americans, I buy *Christmas* presents in honor of the gift God gave to us in the form of Jesus Christ. However, I will NOT be buying them from Best Buy this year. I will Christmas shop ONLY at stores that promote Christmas!!!

Comment Date: Nov 30 2009 7:33 AM

Rating: Christmas-Offensive

Comment: Christmas Negligent AND Offensive, Best Buy. Shame on you. I have purchased much from you each CHRISTMAS Season,but not this year!This is too much for us to grasp–WHY do you feel it important to give good wishes to the Muslim community, and at the same time offend so many Christians and Americans. Maybe you need to reconsider having your business in America. May God help you reconsider your stance.

And just in case this isn’t sufficient righteous indignation, please check the full-strength unfiltered crazy here and here.

So, apparently, in order to be considered “Christmas-friendly,” a retailer must overtly and explicitly recognize Christmas in advertising, personnel interaction, and store decorations and said recognition better be happening by Thanksgiving. In addition, a retailer CANNOT recognize any other religious holidays and must understand that the only event of any importance occurring after Thanksgiving is Christmas.  Furthermore, if a retailer fails to acknowledge Christmas as separate from and superior to all other religious events, then that retailer is patently offensive to christianity.

Good grief, people. What the fuck more do you want? Oh yeah – total control, I forgot. Can’t you just settle for being the dominant culture and leave the rest of us in peace? Oops – forgot that “peace” is offensive, too.

One of My Reasons for the Season

Glenn Beck Has a Gift For You

Are you ready, America? Because I am about to offer you an emotional glimpse into the beautiful vortex of Glenn Beck’s REDEMPTION. Grab a chair, a hot cup of tea (because, as we all know, stories of redemption go down better with tea), and a econo-box of tissues and BEHOLD!

I got a little scared at the beginning, because the sound, FX, and editing made me totally think: “Watch OUT Glenn Beck! ZOMBIES!” – but no, that wasn’t it. Then I thought “Oh NO Glenn Beck! Car accident!” – but, no, it wasn’t that either. Then I kept watching and realized that the only thing menacing Glenn Beck was Glenn Beck himself. And possibly some giggling children. And the First Amendment.

Unfortunately, despite my rigorous research, I still have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER what this is about. I have gleaned only the following:

  • That it is, in fact, about a Christmas sweater.
  • That it takes Glenn Beck approximately 2 minutes, 17 seconds to squeeze out a tear.
  • That Glenn Beck’s eyes are the color of a sweet and innocent summer sky, but that only the very strong can gaze into them.
  • That something happened at some point, or possibly many points, and he hasn’t been able to talk about something for thirty years, but can now. Or will, if you buy something. And even though some event happened decades ago and changed him forever and from that point forward he was forever changed, he was also still simultaneously unchanged until only recently, and has apparently engaged in mucho jackassery for which he is now seeking or perhaps once sought forgiveness (which is free) and redemption (which costs around $549.00).

And the most important lesson?

  • That you cannot buy forgiveness, but you can buy bullshit.

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